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Confuzzledness.
May. 12th, 2003 03:56 pmGah. I'm really not sure where to start, considering I can't even figure out if things are going well or not--I'm leaning towards not, I'm rather irritated, Eddy's being supremely evil, but there's still this odd feeling of everything being good, except it isn't.
Yesterday I had Eddy and Ella and Moody over, which was massive amounts of fun, and we got a bit of stuff sorted out, and spent a lot of time IMing people hyperly (which was complicated, as we had to keep on switching colors when we posted so as not to confuse Matt and Chris and Thalia and whoever else we were talking too), but which cut into the evening, and it was Mother's Day, and I was going to do something in the evening instead of in the morning since I'm bad with mornings and Mom always gets up earlier than I do, except then I couldn't and Mom left, so I basically didn't do and am now getting a very strong feeling that I've fallen out of favor with my mother, and I'm not sure whether to say anything to make it better or to let it just dissipate, but I feel guilty not saying anything, but my mom is scary when she's mad at you and I really just want to avoid her at the moment. *is indecisive*
Randomly went and checked the AOL logs; apparently turned logging option off for portion of yesterday when was having interesting conversations in multicolor, which sucks 'cos I wanted to keep them because they were funny and had the link to Thalia's picture of herself, which is very very pretty-- I must admit I hadn't expected her to be so pretty, as she's always insulting herself.
Anyway...
Eddy is getting on my nerves a bit--once again, she's been informing me that there's lots of interesting stuff and she can't tell me any of it. It seems to be that about two weeks ago (or something like that) she managed to go completely through the whole being angsty/guilty/depressed/confused/whatever she was that caused her to rant at me for extended periods of time, and came out the other end where now everything's just fun and interesting, and now she gets to toy with other people. So basically I haven't been told anything concrete in two weeks; there's a lot of cryptic comments and "I'm worried about so-and-so"s and sort of vaguely mentioning things and assuming other people know what you're talking about and more bloody uninformative comments that tell me a lot without telling me enough specifics--comments like "You're in trouble because you're pretty" and "No, I'm not the focal point anymore *evil giggle*" and "Oh, well I'll take that line off the diagram then" (although that one I could guess the specifics *pokes Eddy viciously*) and a comment pertaining to the shirt I was wearing today (my Arwen's VSD one, with the Elf Princess quote) which was something along the lines of "It'll be interesting to see how long we can keep it that way". I think she's having way too much fun with everything (and everyone), considering she's been informing me of such random things such as that if she ever breaks up with Britt, she has to go out with me or Beky to keep her away from Ben. Or something like that. And she has informed me that not only is she not allowed to inform me of anything, but she's not allowed to inform me of who I'm supposed to bother to get information, either. Gah. She's just told me not to discriminate in my being-affectionate-ness, which I suppose is somewhat helpful, but I'm still uber-confuzzled. *sigh* It's so much nicer to worry about other people and other people's problems. Like whether or not it was somewhat tactless for Eddy to be nuzzling my hand literally right under Matt's nose ("literally" here meaning "at a distance of about six inches"). And other other-people's-business stuff like that.
Or maybe it's just that I get told other people's business, but not my own.
Mildly amusing bit of upside-ness: at the end of the school day today, I had one school hardcover book, and *eight* paperbacks for leisure reading. Book of Lost Tales Part One, and then a series of seven books that Matt handed to me. *sighs happily* Three thousand-odd pages of reading. I'm happy.
Hm... update as of last few paragraphs... Erin is proving to be a source of some information...
~Agent Claudia, signing out to go talk to Erin.
Yesterday I had Eddy and Ella and Moody over, which was massive amounts of fun, and we got a bit of stuff sorted out, and spent a lot of time IMing people hyperly (which was complicated, as we had to keep on switching colors when we posted so as not to confuse Matt and Chris and Thalia and whoever else we were talking too), but which cut into the evening, and it was Mother's Day, and I was going to do something in the evening instead of in the morning since I'm bad with mornings and Mom always gets up earlier than I do, except then I couldn't and Mom left, so I basically didn't do and am now getting a very strong feeling that I've fallen out of favor with my mother, and I'm not sure whether to say anything to make it better or to let it just dissipate, but I feel guilty not saying anything, but my mom is scary when she's mad at you and I really just want to avoid her at the moment. *is indecisive*
Randomly went and checked the AOL logs; apparently turned logging option off for portion of yesterday when was having interesting conversations in multicolor, which sucks 'cos I wanted to keep them because they were funny and had the link to Thalia's picture of herself, which is very very pretty-- I must admit I hadn't expected her to be so pretty, as she's always insulting herself.
Anyway...
Eddy is getting on my nerves a bit--once again, she's been informing me that there's lots of interesting stuff and she can't tell me any of it. It seems to be that about two weeks ago (or something like that) she managed to go completely through the whole being angsty/guilty/depressed/confused/whatever she was that caused her to rant at me for extended periods of time, and came out the other end where now everything's just fun and interesting, and now she gets to toy with other people. So basically I haven't been told anything concrete in two weeks; there's a lot of cryptic comments and "I'm worried about so-and-so"s and sort of vaguely mentioning things and assuming other people know what you're talking about and more bloody uninformative comments that tell me a lot without telling me enough specifics--comments like "You're in trouble because you're pretty" and "No, I'm not the focal point anymore *evil giggle*" and "Oh, well I'll take that line off the diagram then" (although that one I could guess the specifics *pokes Eddy viciously*) and a comment pertaining to the shirt I was wearing today (my Arwen's VSD one, with the Elf Princess quote) which was something along the lines of "It'll be interesting to see how long we can keep it that way". I think she's having way too much fun with everything (and everyone), considering she's been informing me of such random things such as that if she ever breaks up with Britt, she has to go out with me or Beky to keep her away from Ben. Or something like that. And she has informed me that not only is she not allowed to inform me of anything, but she's not allowed to inform me of who I'm supposed to bother to get information, either. Gah. She's just told me not to discriminate in my being-affectionate-ness, which I suppose is somewhat helpful, but I'm still uber-confuzzled. *sigh* It's so much nicer to worry about other people and other people's problems. Like whether or not it was somewhat tactless for Eddy to be nuzzling my hand literally right under Matt's nose ("literally" here meaning "at a distance of about six inches"). And other other-people's-business stuff like that.
Or maybe it's just that I get told other people's business, but not my own.
Mildly amusing bit of upside-ness: at the end of the school day today, I had one school hardcover book, and *eight* paperbacks for leisure reading. Book of Lost Tales Part One, and then a series of seven books that Matt handed to me. *sighs happily* Three thousand-odd pages of reading. I'm happy.
Hm... update as of last few paragraphs... Erin is proving to be a source of some information...
~Agent Claudia, signing out to go talk to Erin.
