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Dec. 3rd, 2003 11:03 pmWell. Last few days have been... odd.
Monday after track I got SO DAMN HYPER that I couldn't study for bio test at all--I'm usually fairly damn bad at studying, but I never have focus problems from being too hyper. Sometimes can't focus as in "fatigue and lack of focus are symptoms of depression" kind of can't focus, but never just too hyper to pay attention.
Unfortunately, as a result, I did very very badly on test... as in, did not put pencil to paper on the diagram, because did not know what to diagram. Finished what of test I could do in ten minutes; spent last half hour of period sticking pencils in my hand again--depressing, as I thought I'd managed to knock it off.
At track: Got cuts on hand cleaned and bandaged, considering I'd opened a previous cut and it was actually bleeding (which doesn't normally happen) and it evidently had graphite in it, which I figured wasn't too good. White tape looks spiffy and have refused to remove it. Froze arse off, got tired, was sore from yesterday, general unpleasantness. But at least remembered water bottle today. And somehow seemed fun despite fact that was still absolutely brutal.
Left at 4, getting ride from Ella's mother and thus did not have to do weight room-ness (yay). Ella's mother dropped me off at Starbucks, which was where my dear lady mother and my ickle brother person were. Got coffee, yay! Came home, ate, took shower, and did homework. Lots of homework. Was once again very hyper but more focused-y, so did all my homework (although none too legibly), then started Spanish project that is due NEXT Friday, which was fun as involved watercolors (which I haven't used in AGES), Sharpie marker, a Swiss Army knife, and rainbow-striped Black Letter calligraphy. (None of that was specifically part of the assignment in the least, but my ability to incorporate it was implied in the "be creative" direction that I'm not actually sure Sra Davis included... but she should've... anyway, I could make it include those things, so I did.) Did that until around 11, when I went to bed not because I was tired--far from it--but because I was exasperated that my brother was STILL on the computer doing homework, considering he'd been doing that since the time we came back from Starbucks at four-thirty. I wanted the computer, dammit!
Anyway. Today: Still sore, but enjoying it. Middling moods. ROAR meeting thingy last 2 periods, which was fun. Track once again brutal, but already feeling better about it, and had warmer apparel this time. Home, food, shower, homework, moods rising tremendously. Glyphs sparked desire to subscribe to "the Economist", as is damn spiffy magazine, but being from Europe is expensive so will have to go to Mom's work to read it. Sigh. Rest of Glyphs fun. Left early to go see Karen; talked in odd directions, proving that yep, I was still hyper and crazy despite not being as bouncy as previous two days. (Note to self: Poe book is not going to get read if it stays in locker. Plus is not my book.) (Yes, that's related.) Was singing in car most of way to and from Karen's; was v. v. happy on way back because 'twas dark and the roads on the way from hers to here are fun to drive along when dark; quite atmospheric and picturesque and generally spifftastic. Very tiny little Voice of Conventional Reason in back of head had enough sense to be slightly worried when zooming down dark roads with extremely tired driver; rest of me does not put too much store by Conventional Reason anyway and thus doesn't listen to that voice too much. This occupied my brain for much of the ride: now that I've identified a single one of the Voices in my head, I was trying to figure out what it usually says, how often I listen, how often I should listen, and which one is it talking amongst all the other bits of information I get from the other voices in my head. Had rather interesting inner monologue detailing specific instances where I have listened to it; they are few and far between and some of them I still have not figured out why I listened to it and how disastrous things actually would've been if I hadn't (still think, in most cases, Not very).
Um. Anyway. So, came home, dipped pretzels in chocolate for an hour (and read An Unquiet Mind whilst waiting for stuff to microwave--is v. good book, memoir of a psychiatrist with really severe bipolar disorder) for DBQ party tomorrow (ten-minutes party to get us all sugar high before he hands back DBQs and talks about how much we all sucked at them, so that we won't get as down about it because we're so up on sugar). And now am here, typing LJ entry that I hope makes some sort of sense. It might not... endorphins + happy pills (lithium actually more supposed to be comfortable pills, but whatever) + change in perspective as to what's actually wrong with me (now that have been diagnosed as bipolar, aka manic-depressive, generally feel I have much more license to be hyper as well as to be depressed) = wackily (for me) high moods and, thus, not always making sense or thinking linearly (like I ever think linearly... *eyeroll*).
Am not removing tape until I absolutely cannot help it. Tape looks spiffy. Got amusing comments from Moody and Edward on it (nice change from the general "What did you do to your hand?" from everyone else).
I'm getting incredible amounts of spam from colleges. *sigh* AM NOT GOING TO COLLEGE IN THIS COUNTRY. Canada is spiffier. Canada rocks in many ways. There was an article on the front cover of the New York times yesterday about how much spiffier Canada is than the US (or that's how I interpreted it).
I really want to translate "The Man Upstairs" into French for some reason, except do not know lyrics very well in English, and it has very very unorthodox vocabulary (which is precisely why I want to translate it). By now, I really want The Devil's Bris album just so I can have that freaking song available in CD form, and not just when I go to my dad's.
Speaking of songs in French: Gypsies rock.
Bonne nuit, tout le monde,
-Claudia
Monday after track I got SO DAMN HYPER that I couldn't study for bio test at all--I'm usually fairly damn bad at studying, but I never have focus problems from being too hyper. Sometimes can't focus as in "fatigue and lack of focus are symptoms of depression" kind of can't focus, but never just too hyper to pay attention.
Unfortunately, as a result, I did very very badly on test... as in, did not put pencil to paper on the diagram, because did not know what to diagram. Finished what of test I could do in ten minutes; spent last half hour of period sticking pencils in my hand again--depressing, as I thought I'd managed to knock it off.
At track: Got cuts on hand cleaned and bandaged, considering I'd opened a previous cut and it was actually bleeding (which doesn't normally happen) and it evidently had graphite in it, which I figured wasn't too good. White tape looks spiffy and have refused to remove it. Froze arse off, got tired, was sore from yesterday, general unpleasantness. But at least remembered water bottle today. And somehow seemed fun despite fact that was still absolutely brutal.
Left at 4, getting ride from Ella's mother and thus did not have to do weight room-ness (yay). Ella's mother dropped me off at Starbucks, which was where my dear lady mother and my ickle brother person were. Got coffee, yay! Came home, ate, took shower, and did homework. Lots of homework. Was once again very hyper but more focused-y, so did all my homework (although none too legibly), then started Spanish project that is due NEXT Friday, which was fun as involved watercolors (which I haven't used in AGES), Sharpie marker, a Swiss Army knife, and rainbow-striped Black Letter calligraphy. (None of that was specifically part of the assignment in the least, but my ability to incorporate it was implied in the "be creative" direction that I'm not actually sure Sra Davis included... but she should've... anyway, I could make it include those things, so I did.) Did that until around 11, when I went to bed not because I was tired--far from it--but because I was exasperated that my brother was STILL on the computer doing homework, considering he'd been doing that since the time we came back from Starbucks at four-thirty. I wanted the computer, dammit!
Anyway. Today: Still sore, but enjoying it. Middling moods. ROAR meeting thingy last 2 periods, which was fun. Track once again brutal, but already feeling better about it, and had warmer apparel this time. Home, food, shower, homework, moods rising tremendously. Glyphs sparked desire to subscribe to "the Economist", as is damn spiffy magazine, but being from Europe is expensive so will have to go to Mom's work to read it. Sigh. Rest of Glyphs fun. Left early to go see Karen; talked in odd directions, proving that yep, I was still hyper and crazy despite not being as bouncy as previous two days. (Note to self: Poe book is not going to get read if it stays in locker. Plus is not my book.) (Yes, that's related.) Was singing in car most of way to and from Karen's; was v. v. happy on way back because 'twas dark and the roads on the way from hers to here are fun to drive along when dark; quite atmospheric and picturesque and generally spifftastic. Very tiny little Voice of Conventional Reason in back of head had enough sense to be slightly worried when zooming down dark roads with extremely tired driver; rest of me does not put too much store by Conventional Reason anyway and thus doesn't listen to that voice too much. This occupied my brain for much of the ride: now that I've identified a single one of the Voices in my head, I was trying to figure out what it usually says, how often I listen, how often I should listen, and which one is it talking amongst all the other bits of information I get from the other voices in my head. Had rather interesting inner monologue detailing specific instances where I have listened to it; they are few and far between and some of them I still have not figured out why I listened to it and how disastrous things actually would've been if I hadn't (still think, in most cases, Not very).
Um. Anyway. So, came home, dipped pretzels in chocolate for an hour (and read An Unquiet Mind whilst waiting for stuff to microwave--is v. good book, memoir of a psychiatrist with really severe bipolar disorder) for DBQ party tomorrow (ten-minutes party to get us all sugar high before he hands back DBQs and talks about how much we all sucked at them, so that we won't get as down about it because we're so up on sugar). And now am here, typing LJ entry that I hope makes some sort of sense. It might not... endorphins + happy pills (lithium actually more supposed to be comfortable pills, but whatever) + change in perspective as to what's actually wrong with me (now that have been diagnosed as bipolar, aka manic-depressive, generally feel I have much more license to be hyper as well as to be depressed) = wackily (for me) high moods and, thus, not always making sense or thinking linearly (like I ever think linearly... *eyeroll*).
Am not removing tape until I absolutely cannot help it. Tape looks spiffy. Got amusing comments from Moody and Edward on it (nice change from the general "What did you do to your hand?" from everyone else).
I'm getting incredible amounts of spam from colleges. *sigh* AM NOT GOING TO COLLEGE IN THIS COUNTRY. Canada is spiffier. Canada rocks in many ways. There was an article on the front cover of the New York times yesterday about how much spiffier Canada is than the US (or that's how I interpreted it).
I really want to translate "The Man Upstairs" into French for some reason, except do not know lyrics very well in English, and it has very very unorthodox vocabulary (which is precisely why I want to translate it). By now, I really want The Devil's Bris album just so I can have that freaking song available in CD form, and not just when I go to my dad's.
Speaking of songs in French: Gypsies rock.
Bonne nuit, tout le monde,
-Claudia
