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Morning Celtic Cross spread
Aug. 11th, 2018 09:23 am Well, it has been an appallingly long time since I have done a tarot reading for myself--weeks and weeks, if not months and months. But I'm taking this weekend to take it easy and be productive and not go places except my mom's, and even that's not until tomorrow, so I figured this morning would be a good time for a nice full Celtic Cross spread. I didn't ask any particular question, just sort of for guidance on What Is My Life Even, in light of all the changes that have been going on with the move and the last bit of wiggle room in my budget getting wiped out.
I used Maggie Stiefvater's Raven's Prophecy deck, which is one of my favorites. I still never found out who sent it to me.
The cards came down as follows:
1. Cover card - Four of Coins: Holding tight or maintaining the status quo. Nicknamed "the miser card," Stiefvater says this card indicates that I am thinking about conserving money, rightly or wrongly. This is pretty spot-on--I am fretting a lot lately about the expenses of the move, the increase in rent, the increase in my car insurance (it nearly doubled, which I had not been expecting and am not too pleased about), the fact that my job is coming up on 2.5 years of dicking me around about a raise--over 2/3 as long as I've even been there. I'm sore and unhappy about the fact that I'm either going to have to change jobs to one much more lucrative, which is terrifying even if I can find one, or else I'm going to have to massively curtail my social life and my entire lifestyle generally. I have two trips planned for the rest of this year--the BSpec retreat in November, and Lyndsay and I are going back to Vegas in October--and covering the basic expenses for those is probably the entire amount of my disposable income for the rest of the year now. So I'm feeling pretty underwater, and it's making me sullen and resentful, but also going a bit into total Catholic ascetic mode a bit? Like, I baked bread and handmade butter for book club last week, partly because I wanted to do something but also partly because buying some cheese or a bottle of wine or something would have clearly been an unconscionable extravagance. I'm blowing off the company picnic tomorrow to go to my mom's and job hunt/house hunt in part because I don't want to go grocery shopping for the potluck (and in part because I'm resentful and would rather have a raise than a party). Stiefvater writes that when this card appears, it's time to ask yourself: Am I being wise or miserly? To which I cross my arms and insist, both. Stiefvater says, "This card can't tell you whether or not you should be less frugal. But when it appears, it's a sign that your relationship with money is strangling you like the vine pictured on the card." So yeah, I'd say thus far this reading is pretty accurate.
2. Crossing card - Page of Swords: Decisiveness, unexpected or upsetting news, truth, learning, seeking, clarity. I'd say my car insurance doubling was both unexpected and upsetting news, although not as unexpected or upsetting as the news that my younger cousin is in the hospital with some sort of seizures; he is a few years younger than I am and apparently had a stroke. So that's obviously far more upsetting than the car insurance thing, although it has much less to do with the cover card. I think this card has more to do with the job situation and the fact that I really do need to get off my butt and start seriously looking at and applying to new ones--Louis says this card indicates situations in which discretion, dispassionate rationality, quick analysis, and decisiveness are important. He advises that there is a danger of having "too many irons in the fire and leaving important initiatives unfinished," which is pretty much a good summary of my life, and warns that I should make sure I know what I'm committing myself to. Probably good advice. Stiefvater advises to "channel the unbiased interest of a child" and be tireless in the pursuit of truth, so I'm going to take this all as basically advice that I should do this job search, take it seriously, and not fuck it up.
3. Beneath card - Ten of Cups: Very rudely, the beneath or backstory card here is the "Joy" card, meaning peace, harmony in personal relationships, family, things being in balance, etc. Stiefvater writes "Don't squander this time! Enjoy it, because it can't last. ... Eventually, someone will have a work crisis, or a move will have to happen, or a project will demand more time, and the bliss will be interrupted." So basically, with this card being in the part of the spread where it is, it's saying that it hopes I properly appreciated having a stable and affordable living/work situation for a while, because that time is over. Which is not super helpful, although it is quite accurate. Tarot can be a lil bitch sometimes.
4. Behind card - King of Swords: Air of air, authority and command. The behind card indicates a period of time just passing out of phase, often in the last 30 days. The last 30 days have been mostly occupied with moving. Louis warns that the querent may be acting overly coolly or intellectually, may be out of touch with one's feelings or afraid of entering a new relationship, and that you want to break free from the restrictions of conventionality (I got a new ear piercing last week but I don't think that's particularly unconventional anymore). Stiefvater's interpretation, which is probably more important consider which deck we're using, associates this card with "justice, fairness, intellect, truth" and says that the King has learned to be judicious in sharing what she knows. I don't know if this card means I have mostly kept my shit together and my intense feelings of resentfulness at least sort of under control--I have certainly complained into the void of Twitter plenty, but have been able to avoid taking shit out on my roommates--or if it means I haven't really been appropriately planning to make myself happy in my altered circumstances. It is perhaps a bit of both. Either way, it appears this period of more-or-less stoic going along with what must be done may be ending soon.
5. Crown card - VI, The Lovers: Choice. Stiefvater associates this card with "love, pairing, duality, values" and stresses that the duality and complementarity can be between one's inner self and outer self. Louis' interpretation of the card focuses more on the card's indication of a choice or dilemma, saying it shows up when "you are faced with a crucial life decision" and that it "cautions you to consider carefully all the ramifications of a major decision before making a final commitment." As a crown card, this card seems to indicate that I *could* possibly have some really big decisions to make, probably about either housing or my career, and that, in conjuction with the Page of Swords, I need to be smart about it.
6. Before card - XIX, The Sun: Success, fulfillment. Oh, thank God. The Sun is a happy card! In my immediate future! More to the point, in addition to promising success and good outcomes of things and being surrounded by loved ones and generally all that sunny stuff, the Sun card indicates self-awareness, clear-sightedness, hope, and solutions. In context with the other cards about choices and rationality and decisiveness and stuff, I'm hoping that this card indicates that if I know myself and trust myself and understand my own strengths and limitations, I'll be able to make the right decisions and make changes to my life that will put it on a path that makes me happy (as opposed to the thing I'm terrified of, which is changing jobs from my underpaid but otherwise non-toxic one where they like me and winding up in another Skyword situation). So that's heartening.
7. Self card - X, The Wheel of Fortune: We've had quite a few Major Arcana in a row. This one, indicating where my sense of self is at, is the Wheel of Fortune, unfortunately probably not representing winning gobs of money on a game show (that would be sweet, though). According to Louis, the Wheel usually means a change for the better--good luck, advancement, opportunity, progress. His interpretation of this card is full of phrases like "forces in motion stimulate change in growth" and "rapid changes offer new opportunities to improve your life." There are certainly rapid changes going on and it definitely does feel like the beginning of a new cycle, so I guess I'm focused on how to use the bad changes (can't afford life anymore) as opportunities for good changes (time to go make more money). Stiefvater is blunter, saying "someone or something somewhere has decided that things are going to get shaken up in your life." If I'm honest with myself, I am vibing much more with Stiefvater's interpretation right now. I do indeed feel like a Something, Somewhere has decided to target me for shaking up.
8. House card - Ace of Coins: Firm financial foundations. As the House card, this card is a good reminder that I have a very good support network, including two gainfully employed parents with whom I have strong relationships. Nobody is going to let me starve or be homeless, even if I'm weirdly tempted to do so out of spite and recovering Catholicism. This card can represent a windfall, a helping hand, a new opportunity, etc., so possibly someone in my social circle knows about or has access to something that could help me out. Overall a very comforting card.
9. Hopes, fears, and expectations card - Queen of Cups: Water of water, a caring woman. I'm honestly not entirely sure how to interpret this Queen as a hopes/fears/expectations card. As an advice card, she generally indicates that it's time to turn inward and examine your feelings--basically the opposite of what I've apparently been doing up till recently as the King of Swords. But in this spot in the reading, I don't know if she indicates that I'm hoping to have more time and space to feel my feels and focus on that kind of stuff instead of all money all the time, if I'm afraid of sinking into a pit of self-indulgent feelings and never coming out, or if just expect to have my emotions get in the way of everything else I'm supposed to be doing. This card can also indicate that one's mother, or a mother figure, will play a significant role in the near future, which I both expect to happen (because my mom lives nearby) and hope to happen (because I won't be able to get into a better living situation without some parental help).
10. Final outcome card - Six of Cups: This is the nostalgia card, although it's basically the good nostalgia card, as opposed to the bad nostalgia card (the five), which would be a shitty outcome card. This one is OK, though. This card basically indicates that some aspect of your past--people you haven't seen in a while, interests you've forgotten you had, skills that you haven't used in a bit--will be useful and necessary for determining your priorities and moving forward. So that's hopefully a positive sign on the job front. It's certainly advice on how to move forward, but since it's the last card in the spread I hope it's also an indicator that I'm basically on the right track for it to actually happen.
I used Maggie Stiefvater's Raven's Prophecy deck, which is one of my favorites. I still never found out who sent it to me.
The cards came down as follows:
1. Cover card - Four of Coins: Holding tight or maintaining the status quo. Nicknamed "the miser card," Stiefvater says this card indicates that I am thinking about conserving money, rightly or wrongly. This is pretty spot-on--I am fretting a lot lately about the expenses of the move, the increase in rent, the increase in my car insurance (it nearly doubled, which I had not been expecting and am not too pleased about), the fact that my job is coming up on 2.5 years of dicking me around about a raise--over 2/3 as long as I've even been there. I'm sore and unhappy about the fact that I'm either going to have to change jobs to one much more lucrative, which is terrifying even if I can find one, or else I'm going to have to massively curtail my social life and my entire lifestyle generally. I have two trips planned for the rest of this year--the BSpec retreat in November, and Lyndsay and I are going back to Vegas in October--and covering the basic expenses for those is probably the entire amount of my disposable income for the rest of the year now. So I'm feeling pretty underwater, and it's making me sullen and resentful, but also going a bit into total Catholic ascetic mode a bit? Like, I baked bread and handmade butter for book club last week, partly because I wanted to do something but also partly because buying some cheese or a bottle of wine or something would have clearly been an unconscionable extravagance. I'm blowing off the company picnic tomorrow to go to my mom's and job hunt/house hunt in part because I don't want to go grocery shopping for the potluck (and in part because I'm resentful and would rather have a raise than a party). Stiefvater writes that when this card appears, it's time to ask yourself: Am I being wise or miserly? To which I cross my arms and insist, both. Stiefvater says, "This card can't tell you whether or not you should be less frugal. But when it appears, it's a sign that your relationship with money is strangling you like the vine pictured on the card." So yeah, I'd say thus far this reading is pretty accurate.
2. Crossing card - Page of Swords: Decisiveness, unexpected or upsetting news, truth, learning, seeking, clarity. I'd say my car insurance doubling was both unexpected and upsetting news, although not as unexpected or upsetting as the news that my younger cousin is in the hospital with some sort of seizures; he is a few years younger than I am and apparently had a stroke. So that's obviously far more upsetting than the car insurance thing, although it has much less to do with the cover card. I think this card has more to do with the job situation and the fact that I really do need to get off my butt and start seriously looking at and applying to new ones--Louis says this card indicates situations in which discretion, dispassionate rationality, quick analysis, and decisiveness are important. He advises that there is a danger of having "too many irons in the fire and leaving important initiatives unfinished," which is pretty much a good summary of my life, and warns that I should make sure I know what I'm committing myself to. Probably good advice. Stiefvater advises to "channel the unbiased interest of a child" and be tireless in the pursuit of truth, so I'm going to take this all as basically advice that I should do this job search, take it seriously, and not fuck it up.
3. Beneath card - Ten of Cups: Very rudely, the beneath or backstory card here is the "Joy" card, meaning peace, harmony in personal relationships, family, things being in balance, etc. Stiefvater writes "Don't squander this time! Enjoy it, because it can't last. ... Eventually, someone will have a work crisis, or a move will have to happen, or a project will demand more time, and the bliss will be interrupted." So basically, with this card being in the part of the spread where it is, it's saying that it hopes I properly appreciated having a stable and affordable living/work situation for a while, because that time is over. Which is not super helpful, although it is quite accurate. Tarot can be a lil bitch sometimes.
4. Behind card - King of Swords: Air of air, authority and command. The behind card indicates a period of time just passing out of phase, often in the last 30 days. The last 30 days have been mostly occupied with moving. Louis warns that the querent may be acting overly coolly or intellectually, may be out of touch with one's feelings or afraid of entering a new relationship, and that you want to break free from the restrictions of conventionality (I got a new ear piercing last week but I don't think that's particularly unconventional anymore). Stiefvater's interpretation, which is probably more important consider which deck we're using, associates this card with "justice, fairness, intellect, truth" and says that the King has learned to be judicious in sharing what she knows. I don't know if this card means I have mostly kept my shit together and my intense feelings of resentfulness at least sort of under control--I have certainly complained into the void of Twitter plenty, but have been able to avoid taking shit out on my roommates--or if it means I haven't really been appropriately planning to make myself happy in my altered circumstances. It is perhaps a bit of both. Either way, it appears this period of more-or-less stoic going along with what must be done may be ending soon.
5. Crown card - VI, The Lovers: Choice. Stiefvater associates this card with "love, pairing, duality, values" and stresses that the duality and complementarity can be between one's inner self and outer self. Louis' interpretation of the card focuses more on the card's indication of a choice or dilemma, saying it shows up when "you are faced with a crucial life decision" and that it "cautions you to consider carefully all the ramifications of a major decision before making a final commitment." As a crown card, this card seems to indicate that I *could* possibly have some really big decisions to make, probably about either housing or my career, and that, in conjuction with the Page of Swords, I need to be smart about it.
6. Before card - XIX, The Sun: Success, fulfillment. Oh, thank God. The Sun is a happy card! In my immediate future! More to the point, in addition to promising success and good outcomes of things and being surrounded by loved ones and generally all that sunny stuff, the Sun card indicates self-awareness, clear-sightedness, hope, and solutions. In context with the other cards about choices and rationality and decisiveness and stuff, I'm hoping that this card indicates that if I know myself and trust myself and understand my own strengths and limitations, I'll be able to make the right decisions and make changes to my life that will put it on a path that makes me happy (as opposed to the thing I'm terrified of, which is changing jobs from my underpaid but otherwise non-toxic one where they like me and winding up in another Skyword situation). So that's heartening.
7. Self card - X, The Wheel of Fortune: We've had quite a few Major Arcana in a row. This one, indicating where my sense of self is at, is the Wheel of Fortune, unfortunately probably not representing winning gobs of money on a game show (that would be sweet, though). According to Louis, the Wheel usually means a change for the better--good luck, advancement, opportunity, progress. His interpretation of this card is full of phrases like "forces in motion stimulate change in growth" and "rapid changes offer new opportunities to improve your life." There are certainly rapid changes going on and it definitely does feel like the beginning of a new cycle, so I guess I'm focused on how to use the bad changes (can't afford life anymore) as opportunities for good changes (time to go make more money). Stiefvater is blunter, saying "someone or something somewhere has decided that things are going to get shaken up in your life." If I'm honest with myself, I am vibing much more with Stiefvater's interpretation right now. I do indeed feel like a Something, Somewhere has decided to target me for shaking up.
8. House card - Ace of Coins: Firm financial foundations. As the House card, this card is a good reminder that I have a very good support network, including two gainfully employed parents with whom I have strong relationships. Nobody is going to let me starve or be homeless, even if I'm weirdly tempted to do so out of spite and recovering Catholicism. This card can represent a windfall, a helping hand, a new opportunity, etc., so possibly someone in my social circle knows about or has access to something that could help me out. Overall a very comforting card.
9. Hopes, fears, and expectations card - Queen of Cups: Water of water, a caring woman. I'm honestly not entirely sure how to interpret this Queen as a hopes/fears/expectations card. As an advice card, she generally indicates that it's time to turn inward and examine your feelings--basically the opposite of what I've apparently been doing up till recently as the King of Swords. But in this spot in the reading, I don't know if she indicates that I'm hoping to have more time and space to feel my feels and focus on that kind of stuff instead of all money all the time, if I'm afraid of sinking into a pit of self-indulgent feelings and never coming out, or if just expect to have my emotions get in the way of everything else I'm supposed to be doing. This card can also indicate that one's mother, or a mother figure, will play a significant role in the near future, which I both expect to happen (because my mom lives nearby) and hope to happen (because I won't be able to get into a better living situation without some parental help).
10. Final outcome card - Six of Cups: This is the nostalgia card, although it's basically the good nostalgia card, as opposed to the bad nostalgia card (the five), which would be a shitty outcome card. This one is OK, though. This card basically indicates that some aspect of your past--people you haven't seen in a while, interests you've forgotten you had, skills that you haven't used in a bit--will be useful and necessary for determining your priorities and moving forward. So that's hopefully a positive sign on the job front. It's certainly advice on how to move forward, but since it's the last card in the spread I hope it's also an indicator that I'm basically on the right track for it to actually happen.
