(no subject)

[bloodygranuaile]

I have completely fretted, analyzed, and typed myself out for the day. I feel exhausted, but I generally feel better--I've pulled back from the brink of a complete emotional breakdown, if only a few feet. I've typed a total of at least ten pages today, talked to people, dug out my Nosi'Dam notes, gone into the deepest bout of depression in months and possibly one of the deepest bouts of self-loathing I've ever had, spent hours just thinking, reorganized substantial parts of my brain, relabeled all my emotions, gotten injured, and generally done everything except reply to what people have written to me. Oh, and I haven't cried myself out, but I don't think I need to anymore, since I've already hit the point of being too tired and drained to get worked up about anything anymore. I spent a substantial portion of the day feeling on the verge of crying, but didn't, couldn't, not in the harsh, harried environment of school. Then I got home, and things were automatically better because I was no longer in school, I was instead somewhere where I could take meds and eat something and then go do homework in peace. And now that I've finished my homework and my fingers are starting to hurt from typing endlessly, I think I'll go upstairs and crash on my bed here until I can go home and go to bed proper, which is in about half an hour...

-Claudia