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Dec. 26th, 2006 11:04 amHaven't been on the computer much lately; this is not likely to change before I go back to school. My head feels much clearer when I'm not wasting time on the Internet all day. I also get stuff done, although "getting stuff done" does not really mean anything productive, it means rereading Harry Potter and watching TV over my brother's shoulder and listening to heavy metal and occasionally cleaning things.
I got one of those spiffy radio/cd player/cassette player/record player things that looks like a really old-school wooden radio. It makes me happy. And I just bought myself Blind Guardian's new album at the Short Hills mall (I got up to go to the MALL at EIGHT this morning. ME. EIGHT AM. The bloody SHORT HILLS MALL. Something is wrong here). And while I wish I were allowed to turn it up louder, sitting here listening to spiffy new CD on spiffy new stereothing is making me calm enough that I can't be bothered to hate Christmas right now.
At the moment, I am liking LiveJournal and disliking Facebook (another reason why I am staying off the Internets). Facebook is people being happy and social; Livejournal is people being angry, ranty, whiny, and introspective. And I wonder what it says about me, then, that I get some satisfaction and feeling of connection--like we're all just humans and we're all fucked up and angry--reading other people's depressing LJ entries, but Facebook just makes it feel like everyone else is at a level of happy social fulfillment I've only ever been able to dream about.
This, of course, isn't true. Everybody goes both ways. Including me. Except that I am ignoring Facebook because Facebook for me is all Clark people and I'm in Madison and really don't feel like talking to Clark people; I'd rather hang out with real people in Madison, even if they do kick me and Lindsay out at 11h30 to play Neverwinter Nights or whatever the fuck video games all these geekboys are on about at the moment, I don't even know. Or care. At least Lindsay and I can go get coffee when this happens.
My New Year's Resolution is to care less about what people think of me, because when I care is when I start to get anxious and fuck up spectacularly, and it usually turns out that the other people aren't worth the anxiety anyway.
Last year I discovered that most people aren't as bad as they seem.
This year I've discovered that most of the rest of them aren't as good as they seem.
Next year, I'm going to actually stop judging by appearances.
I got one of those spiffy radio/cd player/cassette player/record player things that looks like a really old-school wooden radio. It makes me happy. And I just bought myself Blind Guardian's new album at the Short Hills mall (I got up to go to the MALL at EIGHT this morning. ME. EIGHT AM. The bloody SHORT HILLS MALL. Something is wrong here). And while I wish I were allowed to turn it up louder, sitting here listening to spiffy new CD on spiffy new stereothing is making me calm enough that I can't be bothered to hate Christmas right now.
At the moment, I am liking LiveJournal and disliking Facebook (another reason why I am staying off the Internets). Facebook is people being happy and social; Livejournal is people being angry, ranty, whiny, and introspective. And I wonder what it says about me, then, that I get some satisfaction and feeling of connection--like we're all just humans and we're all fucked up and angry--reading other people's depressing LJ entries, but Facebook just makes it feel like everyone else is at a level of happy social fulfillment I've only ever been able to dream about.
This, of course, isn't true. Everybody goes both ways. Including me. Except that I am ignoring Facebook because Facebook for me is all Clark people and I'm in Madison and really don't feel like talking to Clark people; I'd rather hang out with real people in Madison, even if they do kick me and Lindsay out at 11h30 to play Neverwinter Nights or whatever the fuck video games all these geekboys are on about at the moment, I don't even know. Or care. At least Lindsay and I can go get coffee when this happens.
My New Year's Resolution is to care less about what people think of me, because when I care is when I start to get anxious and fuck up spectacularly, and it usually turns out that the other people aren't worth the anxiety anyway.
Last year I discovered that most people aren't as bad as they seem.
This year I've discovered that most of the rest of them aren't as good as they seem.
Next year, I'm going to actually stop judging by appearances.
