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Sep. 27th, 2008 07:42 pmMy brother broke his hand again. It had been a while; I guess it was time. (For those of you that don't know the story--he broke two wrists, his right arm and his right hand in his first two years of high school.)
Going home Friday to get car. Partly excited; partly waiting for some other complication to arise. Almost afraid that I've jinxed something by actually writing that I'm going to get it, like I shouldn't have told anyone I have a car until it is sitting in my driveway and the keys are in my pocket. (Yes, I do have a semireligious belief in Murphy's Law, why do you ask?)
Most of the stuff going on right about now is new, but I feel like most of my feelings are old. Cycles of busy, tired, productive, guilty, longing, resentful, relieved with reservations, and entertained-but-not-relaxed, which is my mood for socializing when I have other things I should be doing. Am being forced into feeling creative a lot more often, since I have to do a lot more creating than I'm in the habit of doing when left to my own devices, which is currently my favorite feeling. Other than that I need some new emotions, pronto, especially for mornings and days that aren't Monday and Tuesday. I would like to try rage, or insular arrogance, or something else that I can take out on someone else. That or I would like to try being out of love again, so I can try that sense of possibility for the day ahead that some people talk about feeling in the mornings.
I need something drastic to happen so I can react to it. -.-
Going home Friday to get car. Partly excited; partly waiting for some other complication to arise. Almost afraid that I've jinxed something by actually writing that I'm going to get it, like I shouldn't have told anyone I have a car until it is sitting in my driveway and the keys are in my pocket. (Yes, I do have a semireligious belief in Murphy's Law, why do you ask?)
Most of the stuff going on right about now is new, but I feel like most of my feelings are old. Cycles of busy, tired, productive, guilty, longing, resentful, relieved with reservations, and entertained-but-not-relaxed, which is my mood for socializing when I have other things I should be doing. Am being forced into feeling creative a lot more often, since I have to do a lot more creating than I'm in the habit of doing when left to my own devices, which is currently my favorite feeling. Other than that I need some new emotions, pronto, especially for mornings and days that aren't Monday and Tuesday. I would like to try rage, or insular arrogance, or something else that I can take out on someone else. That or I would like to try being out of love again, so I can try that sense of possibility for the day ahead that some people talk about feeling in the mornings.
I need something drastic to happen so I can react to it. -.-