(no subject)

Still depressive but getting better at distracting myself. Running four miles every day, now. Feel like there's a big sucking whirlpool at the center of my emotions and everything I'm doing, I'm trying to do it while staying at the edges and not getting dragged in. Having mixed success. Feeling generally pathetic about what the whirlpool in question is, too; it goes against all of my most basic values and principles to get this bent out of shape about something that I don't think is important and don't want in my life anyway.