Daily Tarot, day 16

Day 15 didn't happen because I worked a ten-hour day. Day 16 happened yesterday but I didn't get around to posting it.

To make up for Day 15 not happening, I did a three-card spread yesterday. Still using the Scapini deck. For some reason, it makes me feel better lately.


 The past card in this spread is the King of Cups, representing someone concerned with emotional or intuitive matters and approaching them in a logical, rational (or rationalized), and intellectual (or intellectualized) way. Possibly this is me being overthinky about my personal inner workings and happiness? The cards have basically been telling me to think long and hard about this stuff for weeks now, so hopefully I'm just thinking, not overthinking. My book calls this card Wise Counsel and in its upright position represents "Compassion." Key words include "Assistance. . . . Respect. Trust. Consideration. Understanding" and as a situation says that either "A man of culture and understanding will listen to you and offer sound advice" or that I may be called upon to listen and offer advice to others. It also says that my father may "figure prominently in upcoming events," although since this is a past card, I don't know how relevant that is.

The present card is the Nine of Swords, The Nightmare Card, in its upright position representing "Despair." This is certainly a lot of what I have been feeling lately! I am pretty sure this card has come up quite recently, as well. In addition to pointing out that my "sleep may in fact be disturbed," which of course it is because I live with animals, of whom Annoying Cat is the least annoying, it points out that "Someone's spiteful behavior may be causing you pain," which, while I don't know if it's actively spiteful so much as usual American businessey douchiness, there is certainly a thing that I am mad and terrified about. The card assures me that my fears "are to a large extent unfounded," and that "the suffering you feel is an aftermath of previous difficult circumstances." It usually is when I have a complete angry freakout about something.

The spread ends on a happier note, with the Two of Cups, Mutuality, symbolizing "A happy union." This card apparently suggests that a dispute will be settled, or that I will find myself "deciding to enter into a contract or a binding agreement." Hopefully that means that either my UI appeal will be successful or that I will get a new job soon.

I'm so terrified and angry about so many things right now.

Tarot Day 17

Five card spread!

Still Scapini. I did a weird thing and did this spread without resetting the deck from the last spread, just as a whim.

Card 1, the Past card, is the Page of Coins, Studiousness, symbolizing "A small financial gain. Education." In my system, it refers to someone concerned with their grand passions and ambitions, approaching realizing them in a practical, concrete, material fashion (like. . . by studying). I'm pretty sure this card has shown up recently, and it represents a bunch of stuff that is exactly what it sounds like it would--diligence, apprenticeship, useful and practical information, patience, "Be sure to do your homework so you can be in a position of advantage." I think I've been doing a bit of homework lately.

Card 2, the Present card, is the Six of Cups, The Good Old Days, symbolizing "Nostalgia." This card generally means either that something from the past "is coming to fruition" or someone from the past is reentering your life. It can also mean "An old friend may bring news that leads to a job offer or a change of residence," which is what I'm hoping for, as today I got an email from an old Pearson buddy who works at a place where I recently applied for a job. I had been inspired to reach out to him after the last time the Six of Cups showed up, I think. Thanks, Tarot!

Card 3, the Hidden Influences card, is the Ten of Swords, An Irrevocable Ending, symbolizing "Stabbed in the back. The end of a cycle." As a situation, this indicates that "Your plans are not working out. You have reached the outer limits. A situation or relationship is coming to its irrevocable end" but apparently since this is hidden it's not one of the things I am fully cognizant of coming to and end. . . which seems like bad news, since I was fairly certain I was on top of all the things/people/situations screwing with me right now. Sigh.

Card 4, the Advice card, is here Major Arcana XI, Force. In most decks, eleven is Justice and Force is 8, but the Scapini deck is a bit odd. Anyway, the Force or Strength card symbolizes "Moral force," and as advice it says to "rely on inner strength, patience, and gentleness to solve your problems" and that "a tactful, diplomatic approach leads to success."

Card 5, the Likely Outcomes card, is the Eight of Swords, Restriction, symbolizing "Feeling trapped." I don't know if this means I am likely to wind up feeling trapped if I follow the advice to be strong and gentle, or if I will end up feeling trapped if I don't recognize the hidden influences (which seems likely because as Swords cards, those two cards seem related in this spread to me). It does say that "With courage you can transcend your anxieties and resolve the problems that surround you," but that isn't really an outcome, more advice. So it looks like even if I fix my current issues and achieve my goals of being gainfully employed again soon, I still will feel trapped and unsatisfied? That's disheartening, as I'm doing all the thinking and analyzing and networking and being careful specifically to minimize the changes that my next job will be as maddeningly deadening as the last one. Perhaps I am just not a happy worker. Sigh, again.

Overall I guess this spread is mixed. It starts off nice but ends up depressing, which is sort of the opposite of what I want to be happening.