Five-card spread, NaNoWriMo
Nov. 12th, 2017 05:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bloodygranuaileI did a five-card spread with the vampire deck, thinking vaguely about my NaNoWriMo project. Will I complete 50,000 words? Will I be able to stand anything I write? Should I continue drafting the new project, or should I edit the old one and find a way to make that count for wordcount? Will the old novel be editable into something decent? Will I be able to outline the new project into something that could someday make sense? I do not know.
The first card, the Past card, was the King of Wands, representing air of fire. He is an ambitious dude--a driven, highly motivated, creative person who is always keeping his eyes on the prize. Apparently I was once like this? Or at least I was about my writing. Possibly back in 2010 when I started Tess. I feel like I've always had problems with motivation but perhaps I'm retconning to make up for how much I do now. The Louis book calls this guy "Leadership" and "Enterprise," perhaps a nod to the self-directed and entrepreneurial nature of writing if it is something one wants to take seriously and sell, which I am no longer certain I do. The King of Wands indicates that you may receive sound advice, mix with interesting people, negotiate well and convey your point of view. His placement in the spread indicates that I have already had this opportunity, which could possibly refer either to creative writing classes back in the day or to finding BSpec. He indicates that I may become restless and irritable if given "routine work" to do, which would possibly indicate that I have gone into the wrong career field. Ah well, too late now. This King would be better to have at the end of the spread than at the beginning of it; I think this indicates that I have backslid in some way.
The second card, the Present card, is the Six of Cups, "The Good Old Days," representing Nostalgia. I have a lot of cups in this spread, which would seem to mean that my writing progress is going to be closely related to my feels. The Good Old Days card represents innocence, reviewing childhood memories, sentimentality, that sort of thing. It could indicate the opportunity to renew and old acquaintance or that someone from the past will pop up in your life. More likely in this case it is referring to the possibility that "some matter with roots in the past comes to fruition" (finishing the first draft of Tess, maybe?) or advising that it is important to "recover and deal with old memories." It advises that "You will need to review some aspect of your past life, perhaps during an honest talk with a trusted advisor. You may have occasion to use old skills that have lain dormant for a long time." This seems to be pointing me more toward dealing with Tess than with the new project.
The third card, Hidden Influences, is Major Arcana XX, Judgment. The Judgment card represents summing up or rebirth, and can mark hitting a developmental milestone, "the ending of a phase of life and the assessment of its worth." Finishing a first draft of a novel that's not co-authored by anyone might count, but it's not especially hidden, unless it's having a greater effect on me somehow than I realize. This card indicates the possibility of facing a crucial decision, which is unhelpful if the decision is whether I should spend the rest of November editing Tess or drafting the secret agent story, All the associations of this card are basically about graduating from one arc in life to the next one, which I have feelings about considering I turn 30 one week from today. Perhaps I am fundamentally changing life stages in ways that I'm not entirely aware of, which will probably affect my writing (or lack thereof).
The fourth card, the advice card, is a little weird, since it's the Seven of Cups, "Daydreams," which indicates a lack of focus or sense of confusion. I have certainly been lacking focus enough lately, and do not need to be advised to focus less! Basically, this card warns that I'm facing a choice that I might be too muddled to figure out clearly--either the options are too numerous or too balanced or they all have trade-offs, or some other factor that makes it hard for me to pick a direction to go in. If this is about which project I should work on, I know that, which is why I did a spread on it. The advice the card does give is that I need to figure out some way to focus and concentrate on a single goal to succeed (so, don't try to do both), and that success will depend on "weighing matters carefully to reach a thoughtful and focused decision." I'm going to have to, at the very least, plan my time out a lot better if I want to hit 50,000 words this month; I am indeed still behind even after the retreat, because I didn't write for the two days before it. This card warns that my thinking may be unrealistic, so I'm guessing specifically it's warning me not to think I can spend the whole month doing what I did yesterday, which is basically pantsing out the new story without doing much research or any outlining. The Louis book says "You would be wise to take your time and seek more information. On the other hand, this is an excellent time for creative projects of any kind." So probably, if I'm going to not make a total hash out of either project, I need to plan it, take it seriously, do my research, and not get my expectations too high for what I'm going to complete this month.
The last card is a shitty card to see on the Final Outcome part of the spread; it's the Five of Cups, "Loss and Disappointment." It indicates "mourning," regret, self-blame, sadness, an unhappy ending, all sorts of other stuff. "Unused talents" is one of the listed keywords. Somehow I suspect I'm not going to be especially happy with whatever I end up producing by the end of the month, regardless of which story it is. But this card does advise that "All is not lost... Something remains to be salvaged from the situation" and that "If you are involved in a painful relationship, it is best to sever the emotional tie that has led only to regret and disappointment." So basically I am on track to mess something up and wind up with a project that I'll eventually have to just let go of. This means I need to either prepare myself to let the project go, or really figure out how to get myself on a more productive path.
In short, that wasn't quite as uplifting a spread as I'd hoped, but it probably gave me the sort of advice I needed to hear. I am not where I wanted to be with either this year's NaNo or with my writing in general, and it's really entirely my own doing and no one else's. I've been blowing off readings telling me to prioritize stuff better for several years now. The cards aren't going to keep telling me that it'll all turn out great, because I haven't been doing what I need to do to make stuff turn out great.
Anyway, it's not even seven o'clock. Can I write more tonight? Should I write more tonight? Or should I do some research so I can do outlining tomorrow before I get any further into this story?
Someone tell me what to do; I'm still just as torn as when I started this reading!
The first card, the Past card, was the King of Wands, representing air of fire. He is an ambitious dude--a driven, highly motivated, creative person who is always keeping his eyes on the prize. Apparently I was once like this? Or at least I was about my writing. Possibly back in 2010 when I started Tess. I feel like I've always had problems with motivation but perhaps I'm retconning to make up for how much I do now. The Louis book calls this guy "Leadership" and "Enterprise," perhaps a nod to the self-directed and entrepreneurial nature of writing if it is something one wants to take seriously and sell, which I am no longer certain I do. The King of Wands indicates that you may receive sound advice, mix with interesting people, negotiate well and convey your point of view. His placement in the spread indicates that I have already had this opportunity, which could possibly refer either to creative writing classes back in the day or to finding BSpec. He indicates that I may become restless and irritable if given "routine work" to do, which would possibly indicate that I have gone into the wrong career field. Ah well, too late now. This King would be better to have at the end of the spread than at the beginning of it; I think this indicates that I have backslid in some way.
The second card, the Present card, is the Six of Cups, "The Good Old Days," representing Nostalgia. I have a lot of cups in this spread, which would seem to mean that my writing progress is going to be closely related to my feels. The Good Old Days card represents innocence, reviewing childhood memories, sentimentality, that sort of thing. It could indicate the opportunity to renew and old acquaintance or that someone from the past will pop up in your life. More likely in this case it is referring to the possibility that "some matter with roots in the past comes to fruition" (finishing the first draft of Tess, maybe?) or advising that it is important to "recover and deal with old memories." It advises that "You will need to review some aspect of your past life, perhaps during an honest talk with a trusted advisor. You may have occasion to use old skills that have lain dormant for a long time." This seems to be pointing me more toward dealing with Tess than with the new project.
The third card, Hidden Influences, is Major Arcana XX, Judgment. The Judgment card represents summing up or rebirth, and can mark hitting a developmental milestone, "the ending of a phase of life and the assessment of its worth." Finishing a first draft of a novel that's not co-authored by anyone might count, but it's not especially hidden, unless it's having a greater effect on me somehow than I realize. This card indicates the possibility of facing a crucial decision, which is unhelpful if the decision is whether I should spend the rest of November editing Tess or drafting the secret agent story, All the associations of this card are basically about graduating from one arc in life to the next one, which I have feelings about considering I turn 30 one week from today. Perhaps I am fundamentally changing life stages in ways that I'm not entirely aware of, which will probably affect my writing (or lack thereof).
The fourth card, the advice card, is a little weird, since it's the Seven of Cups, "Daydreams," which indicates a lack of focus or sense of confusion. I have certainly been lacking focus enough lately, and do not need to be advised to focus less! Basically, this card warns that I'm facing a choice that I might be too muddled to figure out clearly--either the options are too numerous or too balanced or they all have trade-offs, or some other factor that makes it hard for me to pick a direction to go in. If this is about which project I should work on, I know that, which is why I did a spread on it. The advice the card does give is that I need to figure out some way to focus and concentrate on a single goal to succeed (so, don't try to do both), and that success will depend on "weighing matters carefully to reach a thoughtful and focused decision." I'm going to have to, at the very least, plan my time out a lot better if I want to hit 50,000 words this month; I am indeed still behind even after the retreat, because I didn't write for the two days before it. This card warns that my thinking may be unrealistic, so I'm guessing specifically it's warning me not to think I can spend the whole month doing what I did yesterday, which is basically pantsing out the new story without doing much research or any outlining. The Louis book says "You would be wise to take your time and seek more information. On the other hand, this is an excellent time for creative projects of any kind." So probably, if I'm going to not make a total hash out of either project, I need to plan it, take it seriously, do my research, and not get my expectations too high for what I'm going to complete this month.
The last card is a shitty card to see on the Final Outcome part of the spread; it's the Five of Cups, "Loss and Disappointment." It indicates "mourning," regret, self-blame, sadness, an unhappy ending, all sorts of other stuff. "Unused talents" is one of the listed keywords. Somehow I suspect I'm not going to be especially happy with whatever I end up producing by the end of the month, regardless of which story it is. But this card does advise that "All is not lost... Something remains to be salvaged from the situation" and that "If you are involved in a painful relationship, it is best to sever the emotional tie that has led only to regret and disappointment." So basically I am on track to mess something up and wind up with a project that I'll eventually have to just let go of. This means I need to either prepare myself to let the project go, or really figure out how to get myself on a more productive path.
In short, that wasn't quite as uplifting a spread as I'd hoped, but it probably gave me the sort of advice I needed to hear. I am not where I wanted to be with either this year's NaNo or with my writing in general, and it's really entirely my own doing and no one else's. I've been blowing off readings telling me to prioritize stuff better for several years now. The cards aren't going to keep telling me that it'll all turn out great, because I haven't been doing what I need to do to make stuff turn out great.
Anyway, it's not even seven o'clock. Can I write more tonight? Should I write more tonight? Or should I do some research so I can do outlining tomorrow before I get any further into this story?
Someone tell me what to do; I'm still just as torn as when I started this reading!