Ye gods. Bad day.
Apr. 28th, 2003 04:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bloodygranuaileAfter about thirty minutes of homework in which my mood went up (which should tell you about the rest of the day), I opened up AIM and was greeted with away messages reminding me of just how generally screwed up today was.
It was the first day back in school after a week of spring break, and my friends apparently wasted no time screwing up the social dynamics as much as possible, especially considering they started yesterday. Yesterday Eddy got back from Barcelona, and next thing I know it's a soap opera again over here.
Eddy's been ranting to me about, basically, Matt being delusional. I'm trying to be sympathetic, but it's basically extremely depressing-- and it makes it twice as difficult to attempt to talk to him when I keep on thinking about what she's been telling me. I'm already socially anxious to the point where trying to introduce myself to someone new is as paralyzingly difficult as proposing marriage; hearing things about people I don't know from other sources is *extremely* uncomfortable. And she makes it sound like he desperately needs a hug, except I don't know him well enough (read: at all), so I end up randomly hugging everyone I *do* know because if I actually went and tried to hug someone I didn't, I'd probably literally shatter. Now I'm being greeted by extremely morbid away messages--both Becky and Matt are claiming they're dead.
I hate high school. I hate most of the people; I hate how it messes with the people I don't hate. I hate the entire social structure. I hate how the social structure hates me, and I hate my inability to talk to people.
Sometimes I even hate the people I don't hate.
So basically, the downside of my day was the day, but there was an upside, which was lunch. At lunch we had interesting discussions on why there was a toilet on the front lawn, and not a tire in a shopping cart. The answer to that is because Becky's mother found out a bout the tire and shopping cart, made them take it away, and so Pat put a toilet in its place.
Anyway. I'll probably be doing fine in about half an hour, now that Ella's called me, provided I don't get reminded of anything.
It was the first day back in school after a week of spring break, and my friends apparently wasted no time screwing up the social dynamics as much as possible, especially considering they started yesterday. Yesterday Eddy got back from Barcelona, and next thing I know it's a soap opera again over here.
Eddy's been ranting to me about, basically, Matt being delusional. I'm trying to be sympathetic, but it's basically extremely depressing-- and it makes it twice as difficult to attempt to talk to him when I keep on thinking about what she's been telling me. I'm already socially anxious to the point where trying to introduce myself to someone new is as paralyzingly difficult as proposing marriage; hearing things about people I don't know from other sources is *extremely* uncomfortable. And she makes it sound like he desperately needs a hug, except I don't know him well enough (read: at all), so I end up randomly hugging everyone I *do* know because if I actually went and tried to hug someone I didn't, I'd probably literally shatter. Now I'm being greeted by extremely morbid away messages--both Becky and Matt are claiming they're dead.
I hate high school. I hate most of the people; I hate how it messes with the people I don't hate. I hate the entire social structure. I hate how the social structure hates me, and I hate my inability to talk to people.
Sometimes I even hate the people I don't hate.
So basically, the downside of my day was the day, but there was an upside, which was lunch. At lunch we had interesting discussions on why there was a toilet on the front lawn, and not a tire in a shopping cart. The answer to that is because Becky's mother found out a bout the tire and shopping cart, made them take it away, and so Pat put a toilet in its place.
Anyway. I'll probably be doing fine in about half an hour, now that Ella's called me, provided I don't get reminded of anything.
