Today's theme: Goth as Fuck

The Monk is everything a Gothic novel should be. Notable for being the first English-language Gothic novel to draw really heavily from the German "Sturm und Drang" (and yes, my fellow HP freaks, I did actually write "Durm und Strang" and have to go back and fix it) tradition, it is full of all sorts of ridiculously cruel and grotesque horrors, some supernatural, some the result of completely unmagical human cruelty in almost unbelieveable degrees. The unmistakable moral message in it is Catholicism Is For Fucktards. It is vastly more readable than, say, The Castle of Otranto, and the narrative flow is much better (none of this giant helmets falling off ceilings totally randomly business). There is actually character development an' stuff. But the drama is still all about people accidentally eloping with ghosts and priests committing all sorts of awful crimes with help from Teh Debil and noble Spanish gentlemens vanquishing covens of murderous brigands and all sorts of crack. The Victorian writing style is really not dense at all, but from a modern perspective seems very quaint and stylized, which is hilarious considering how much sex is in the book. Considering Victorians were not allowed to write sex the way modern authors do, there is a complete lack of anything graphic, and instead a lot of prissy-sounding phrases about "wanton Pleasures" and "rioting". I especially can't decide whether the outdated use of the word "incontinence" (used with its etymologically literal meaning of "loss of control", and always in reference to persons of the cloth breaking their vows of celibacy), or the description of Antonia's breast as "elastic," conjures up the more amusingly inappropriate mental images.

The author seems to be laboring under the firm conviction that All Middle-Aged Women Are Bonkers, because all of the women in the book that are not Young Maids are certifiably bonkers, or at least ridiculously annoying. Elvira is maybe less totally insane, but still a bit weird. Agnes' aunt is my favorite certifiably bonkers character, because she is a ridiculously melodramatic character typifying one of my least favorite kinds of people, "people who are too god damn selfish to even listen to themselves". As much as I hate those people in real life, her scenes were hilarious. I am also a giant dork and was specifically thinking to myself how nice it was to be reading something from a time when people used the word "disinterested" properly, when I hit the bit where Auntie and Raymond have ( The Awkward Conversation of Awkwardness (spoilery, a bit?) )

Yeah, real disinterested a passion there, Auntie.

Despite the outraged reception it got upon publication (it was the Victorians, being scandalized was the only fun they were allowed to have), I actually found this as morally solid a book as a Gothic novel (read: "something this RIDICULOUS") can be. Love (both friendship and the getting married kind), honesty, faithfulness, compassion, forgiveness, and "disinterestedness" save the day. What more wholesome message do you want out of a Victorian novel? They hadn't invented strong female characters yet; I don't know what else you'd freaking want.

On the staring at screens front, Se7en is gory and full of literary/biblical/medieval stuff about sins and Hell! Right up my alley. Crime? Check. Asshole character with hilarious dialogue? Check. Use of old mythology? Check. Blood and violence? Check. Striking visual aesthetic? Check. Deep WTF plot twist at the end that involves people getting shot? Check. You can make good movies with these ingredients, or bad movies with them, but either way I will like them. Seven is twisted and creative enough to be one of the good movies. Also, it's the only time I have ever made a dead baby joke in the middle of a movie, and it turned out to be an accurate prediction of where the movie was going. Whoever wrote this thing was seriously, seriously macabre. I want to be able to write things like that.

We also just finished watching Night Watch, which is based on the Russian novel Night Watch and not the Discworld book of the same name. Movie mostly just gave me a headache, being visually so hyperstylized and full of artsy fast cuts and slow-mo and things shifting around and colors going weird and stuff that it gets hard to follow. Definitely atmospheric, though. And there was enough stuff in it I liked during the bits I could follow that I really would like to read the book, since books are usually better than their movies (and Josh says this one is, he's read it), and even if the book is written in some weird style too, at least the words will probably stay on the page and be legible. At any rate, is very dark fantasy, and involved vampires that are actually scary and more bestial than romantic, which I very much appreciate right around now.

Not a review, but in keeping with the Goth as Fuck theme: Went to Salem today with Liz to pick up Josh. Was only in Salem for an hour or so to have dinner and desert, but still. I went to Salem today! I fucking love Salem! It makes me so happy.