
I haven't done a five-card spread in a while! Well, I haven't done a reading at all in a while, to be honest. I decided to do this one because it's fairly quick and I really ought to spend the rest of the afternoon either reading or writing. I should probably spend it writing. I may more likely spend it reading.
I had forgotten how simple the five-card spread really is. My little book gives just one sentence for each position.
First card: The Six of Pentacles: Generosity. The first card represents "influences leading up to the present situation," which I did not specify when shuffling, so perhaps the current situation is just my life in general, although from the number of pentacles in this spread I'm going to assume it refers to the material/logicistical parts of my life--money, work, living situation, etc. This card in its upright position refers to "Getting what you deserve," and keywords mostly have to do with gratitude, material gain, helping people, work paying off, that sort of thing. This card may be reminding me of the generosity of others that has helped me; it may also just be noting that I am in a fairly decent financial situation and in a position to save. Both are true; I'm almost done paying off the Car Repairs Credit Card Balance from Hell, which I was able to get a handle on due to the cessation of bimonthly expensive car repairs, which was a result of buying a new car, a venture towards which my mother generously kicked in a few thousand dollars. (I've also wrested my finances under control right before going to Ireland to run my balance up again, an endeavor towards which my father contributed several thousand frequent flyer miles.) So many, many thanks to both my parents for continuing to help me out even though I'm 28 and supposedly a grown-up. Mom, next vacation is the two of us.
Second card: Four of Pentacles: Holding Tight. The second card represents my "current thoughts, feelings, and actions," and this card in its upright position means "Maintaining the status quo." Things have been going pretty decently lately and I am indeed trying to maintain the status quo in a lot of ways. Possibly this card is, however, also hinting at my maintaining the status quo in ways that are not working for me--I'm thinking back to older readings that suggest "necessary cutting" and changing my priorities; also, I am maintaining the "first draft of my novel is not finished" status quo and did not make my word count for February. This card represents financial security (yay) but also sometimes "warns of . . . you fear taking a risk" and that "You may be afraid to let go of what you have carefully acquired." This appears to be a safe card, rather than an explicitly positive or negative one.
Third card: Nine of Swords: The Nightmare Card. The third card apparently represents "hidden influences" and the Nightmare card in its upright position means "despair." This is why I was a little worried about the "status quo" card--am I holding on to the way things are out of giving up on the idea that they could be better? This doesn't sound like an enormously hidden influence; more like one I am periodically trying to shove to the edge of my consciousness, at least as it concerns things like "How long am I going to stay in Boston?" It may have something to do with why I keep piling projects and obligations on myself; too many to ever really excel at any of them, probably.
Fourth card: Five of Pentacles: Poverty. POVERTY. Jesus. For the record, the fourth card in a five-card spread is the
advice card, and the Poverty card in its upright position represents "down and out." Keywords include a lot of starving-artist-sounding things like "Risky self-employment." As a situation and advice card, however, it makes more sense and echoes some themes that have kept cropping up in my 2016 readings: "If financially secure, you are realizing that money can't buy you love." (Eugh, the Beatles.) "You may be overextending yourself. Now is the time to rid yourself of unnecessary expenditures and other confining situations in your life. This card raises the possibility that you are not putting your talents to good use." A lot of my readings lately have echoed this theme--basically, that I need to cut the fluff out of my life so I can be more awesome--but I guess I have despaired that I can actually do that, or something.
Fifth card: Major Arcana 0, The Fool. This is the final outcome card, supposedly the most likely outcome if you follow the advice in card four. In its upright position, The Fool represents "The beginning of a journey. A leap into the unknown." He "appears when you are about to move into a new phase in your life" and warns (?) that you "may be called upon to make a major decision that will lead you down new paths." It also "suggests the need to take a risk with childlike innocence and optimism," apparently in contrast to clinging to the status quo out of a hidden motivation of despair. The Fool is right at the beginning of the story cycle told by the Major Arcana, which makes it a rather ambiguous outcome card.
I've had these themes of new phases, radical changes, major life shakeups of unspecified sorts, in nearly every reading I've done this year so far, and I don't feel like I'm particularly any closer to deciding what needs to change and when. I rather like my life, at least most of the time! But there are other things I'd like to do that I'm not doing; and I'm still not sure what I'd be willing to give up in order to do it.
Anyway, for the rest of this evening at least, I'm going to go back to my life of quiet desperation, as Thoreau said, and read a book and pack a healthy lunch for tomorrow and all that boring stuff.