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Jul. 3rd, 2007 11:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bloodygranuaileMm. So.
I just got in from work, which means I cannot go to bed even though I am tired, because right before I left work Nida tells me to get a plate of rice and then points me towards a plate of chicken curry and says "You eat." Cannot eat and go straight to bed. Have done this on multiple dinering trips so far this summer and am beginning to feel that if I go to one more diner this summer I will scream. Makes me wake up in the morning feeling like a fat lazy American; much prefer to not eat for six or eight hours before I turn in and go to bed getting hungry again. I have a bizarre ascetic streak.
Despite refusal to go to bed for at least another two hours, I am wicked tired. I am not sure why. I slept until noon today, after going to bed at 10 (!) last night. Took an accidental nap in the middle of the afternoon as well. Tomorrow is going to have to involve less sleep and more going for a really long walk until I feel like a person again.
Went to Rocky Horror on Saturday. It was fun, but I felt like absolute hell on so many levels on Sunday. Came to the conclusion that having "fun" has been feeling kind of empty this summer and the only thing that staves off this sort of ongoing depressive feeling of utterly wasting my summer is work and, to a lesser degree, exercise. Have been very seriously considering dropping out of this Montreal trip, which is a highly unpopular decision, as it leaves Lindsay the only girl and this causes various other complications. However, am seriously feeling like I couldn't justify the trip, and it would be better to stay here and work during those days. Also, recently just found out that I have a doctor's appointment the Tuesday we're scheduled to leave, and rescheduling is out of the question since it is already the second rescheduling and I need to go see that doctor, dammit.
Have been reading Mansfield Park, because am ridiculous Jane Austen addict. Despite what some critics have said about the lead character, I really like her. She is very timid and shy, and this seems not to have endeared her to some critics, but I am fairly timid and shy and self-deprecating myself (and when I don't act it, I usually still feel it) and so I sympathize with her very well. And Austen is, as usual, absolutely and frighteningly spot-on in describing how those sorts of thought and emotional patterns work. I have never read an author with a more embarrassingly accurate way of detailing the process of second-guessing oneself out of making any sort of 'sense' than Jane Austen. And as someone highly prone to second-guessing herself, I find Austen ridiculously addictive.
My mother is leaving tomorrow to go gallivanting around Europe for two weeks. She is fussing motherishly over leaving me and Tim home for that long. But should be okay, as father and the wimmins are right down the street, in case we need themto feed us for anything. Father's party for "anyone who is turning, has turned, or ever will turn fifty" is on the 14th (Bastille Day!) so that, um, will be a party. Hopefully Kat will be able to come. Otherwise I will smile and talk to all the adults and be yelled at the next day for ignoring whatever cousins are around my age that I didn't know about and drink. Either way, it should involve drinks be fun.
Iiiiiiiiiiii am going to go read for a bit and then go to bed, as I cannot think of any other employment of my time for the next hour or two that my brain is capable of, and there are not too many people online at the moment.
I just got in from work, which means I cannot go to bed even though I am tired, because right before I left work Nida tells me to get a plate of rice and then points me towards a plate of chicken curry and says "You eat." Cannot eat and go straight to bed. Have done this on multiple dinering trips so far this summer and am beginning to feel that if I go to one more diner this summer I will scream. Makes me wake up in the morning feeling like a fat lazy American; much prefer to not eat for six or eight hours before I turn in and go to bed getting hungry again. I have a bizarre ascetic streak.
Despite refusal to go to bed for at least another two hours, I am wicked tired. I am not sure why. I slept until noon today, after going to bed at 10 (!) last night. Took an accidental nap in the middle of the afternoon as well. Tomorrow is going to have to involve less sleep and more going for a really long walk until I feel like a person again.
Went to Rocky Horror on Saturday. It was fun, but I felt like absolute hell on so many levels on Sunday. Came to the conclusion that having "fun" has been feeling kind of empty this summer and the only thing that staves off this sort of ongoing depressive feeling of utterly wasting my summer is work and, to a lesser degree, exercise. Have been very seriously considering dropping out of this Montreal trip, which is a highly unpopular decision, as it leaves Lindsay the only girl and this causes various other complications. However, am seriously feeling like I couldn't justify the trip, and it would be better to stay here and work during those days. Also, recently just found out that I have a doctor's appointment the Tuesday we're scheduled to leave, and rescheduling is out of the question since it is already the second rescheduling and I need to go see that doctor, dammit.
Have been reading Mansfield Park, because am ridiculous Jane Austen addict. Despite what some critics have said about the lead character, I really like her. She is very timid and shy, and this seems not to have endeared her to some critics, but I am fairly timid and shy and self-deprecating myself (and when I don't act it, I usually still feel it) and so I sympathize with her very well. And Austen is, as usual, absolutely and frighteningly spot-on in describing how those sorts of thought and emotional patterns work. I have never read an author with a more embarrassingly accurate way of detailing the process of second-guessing oneself out of making any sort of 'sense' than Jane Austen. And as someone highly prone to second-guessing herself, I find Austen ridiculously addictive.
My mother is leaving tomorrow to go gallivanting around Europe for two weeks. She is fussing motherishly over leaving me and Tim home for that long. But should be okay, as father and the wimmins are right down the street, in case we need them
Iiiiiiiiiiii am going to go read for a bit and then go to bed, as I cannot think of any other employment of my time for the next hour or two that my brain is capable of, and there are not too many people online at the moment.