Another year has come and gone
Jan. 1st, 2019 01:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bloodygranuaileAlright, here's the obligatory New Year's Resolutions post.
Should we recap last year's? I don't want to do a whole big introspective post because I feel like this past year was not great. Like, it wasn't terrible, but I did not do so great on the whole "meetings goals" thing because 2018 was just a constant stream of Stuff Happening, so, while my short-term planning skills got quite a workout, long-term planning was basically a pipe dream. The two big goals I had for the year, doing a second draft of Tess and getting a new job, got hopelessly derailed by May at the latest, when I got the news I had to move. Even though I sort of tried to get back on the "looking for a new job" train in August when the move was over, I basically spent the later part of the summer and the whole fall recuperating psychologically from it, and not really wanting to jump right into another major life change.
Overall, I don't feel like I really accomplished much in 2018. I mean, I know that I did, but I feel like I didn't accomplish any of the big things I wanted to accomplish, so all the smaller things I did accomplish, it's easy to write off as just making myself busier. I started tackling my fear of public speaking, giving SocFund presentations for DSA. I became co-chair of PEWG. I did some minor anti-fascist work. I asked for a raise, and did get put on the bonus plan. I upped my makeup game by quite a lot and learned how to blow-dry my hair presentably. I traveled a bit. I played in my first proper casino poker game and acquitted myself respectably in it. I got to the end of the tree in the Duolingo Irish course and got my "golden owl." I met a lot of cool people and read a number of good books.
Results: I'm tired, broke, out of shape, emotionally drained, and too frequently resentful of however I'm spending my time, because I know I could and should be using it to do one of 5,000 other things but am not. I believe this is called "burnout." I do not know how to not burn myself out, since I hate copping out of doing things almost as much as I hate having an unmanageable amount of things to do.
Anyway, to keep things on track, here are my Resolutions for 2019. I have limited them to five, even though there are quite a few other things I vaguely intend to do.
1. Get a new job, or at least job offers. This is a repeat of last year. Even if I end up not taking a new job and opting to grow my role in this one instead, I at least intend to apply to positions and get offers, which I can then consider based on whatever factors are in play.
2. Get back to writing. Since I fell off this wagon so hard last year, I'm keeping it modest: One real writing session per month, a minimum of 1,000 words or edits/rewrites on one chapter of Tess.
3. 50 book reading challenge, as usual.
4. My one specific reading goal: Read Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States. I've been avoiding it for 15 years. Other than that, I'll read whatever I want whenever I want it.
5. Drugstore makeup no-buy year: This one's going to be hard, but it should recover some of my fiscal discipline. Lately I've become incapable of going into -- or, frankly, past -- a drugstore or grocery store without picking up at least one beauty item. We're going to quit this habit cold turkey in 2019 and focus on using up the shit I already have or buying better quality stuff while I've got VIB status at Sephora this year. The *only* exceptions are if I use up one of my everyday work makeup products and have to replace it. There will be no further buying of Essie nail polishes every bloody time I go to Wegman's, especially.
I feel like there's a million other things I should goal about, and in the back of my head I cannot help but be formulating goals relating to poker, Irish, my day job, travel, my friendships, DSA, exercise, journaling, meditation, diet, skincare, fiscal discipline, baking, and every other potentially improvable aspect of my life. I am trying not to make myself feel like I need write out specific goals and hit benchmarks on these, but I am going to try to approach things with somewhat more intention than the way I've been going about them. This is going to somehow require clawing back some willpower and focus, which will mean figuring out where it all went and why. I'm not 100% sure where to start with this.
One place I am starting is with doing Dry January this year, which should be achievable since it's only one month and not planning for the entire year. But we'll see how it goes.
Later, friends. May 2019 bring you great things, especially if it's because you're going out and getting them.
Should we recap last year's? I don't want to do a whole big introspective post because I feel like this past year was not great. Like, it wasn't terrible, but I did not do so great on the whole "meetings goals" thing because 2018 was just a constant stream of Stuff Happening, so, while my short-term planning skills got quite a workout, long-term planning was basically a pipe dream. The two big goals I had for the year, doing a second draft of Tess and getting a new job, got hopelessly derailed by May at the latest, when I got the news I had to move. Even though I sort of tried to get back on the "looking for a new job" train in August when the move was over, I basically spent the later part of the summer and the whole fall recuperating psychologically from it, and not really wanting to jump right into another major life change.
Overall, I don't feel like I really accomplished much in 2018. I mean, I know that I did, but I feel like I didn't accomplish any of the big things I wanted to accomplish, so all the smaller things I did accomplish, it's easy to write off as just making myself busier. I started tackling my fear of public speaking, giving SocFund presentations for DSA. I became co-chair of PEWG. I did some minor anti-fascist work. I asked for a raise, and did get put on the bonus plan. I upped my makeup game by quite a lot and learned how to blow-dry my hair presentably. I traveled a bit. I played in my first proper casino poker game and acquitted myself respectably in it. I got to the end of the tree in the Duolingo Irish course and got my "golden owl." I met a lot of cool people and read a number of good books.
Results: I'm tired, broke, out of shape, emotionally drained, and too frequently resentful of however I'm spending my time, because I know I could and should be using it to do one of 5,000 other things but am not. I believe this is called "burnout." I do not know how to not burn myself out, since I hate copping out of doing things almost as much as I hate having an unmanageable amount of things to do.
Anyway, to keep things on track, here are my Resolutions for 2019. I have limited them to five, even though there are quite a few other things I vaguely intend to do.
1. Get a new job, or at least job offers. This is a repeat of last year. Even if I end up not taking a new job and opting to grow my role in this one instead, I at least intend to apply to positions and get offers, which I can then consider based on whatever factors are in play.
2. Get back to writing. Since I fell off this wagon so hard last year, I'm keeping it modest: One real writing session per month, a minimum of 1,000 words or edits/rewrites on one chapter of Tess.
3. 50 book reading challenge, as usual.
4. My one specific reading goal: Read Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States. I've been avoiding it for 15 years. Other than that, I'll read whatever I want whenever I want it.
5. Drugstore makeup no-buy year: This one's going to be hard, but it should recover some of my fiscal discipline. Lately I've become incapable of going into -- or, frankly, past -- a drugstore or grocery store without picking up at least one beauty item. We're going to quit this habit cold turkey in 2019 and focus on using up the shit I already have or buying better quality stuff while I've got VIB status at Sephora this year. The *only* exceptions are if I use up one of my everyday work makeup products and have to replace it. There will be no further buying of Essie nail polishes every bloody time I go to Wegman's, especially.
I feel like there's a million other things I should goal about, and in the back of my head I cannot help but be formulating goals relating to poker, Irish, my day job, travel, my friendships, DSA, exercise, journaling, meditation, diet, skincare, fiscal discipline, baking, and every other potentially improvable aspect of my life. I am trying not to make myself feel like I need write out specific goals and hit benchmarks on these, but I am going to try to approach things with somewhat more intention than the way I've been going about them. This is going to somehow require clawing back some willpower and focus, which will mean figuring out where it all went and why. I'm not 100% sure where to start with this.
One place I am starting is with doing Dry January this year, which should be achievable since it's only one month and not planning for the entire year. But we'll see how it goes.
Later, friends. May 2019 bring you great things, especially if it's because you're going out and getting them.